For the numbing pain of drained minds,
For the loss of souls, once sweet, violent and brave.
For all anchors in human form.
For feelings as pistols,
words as triggers,
actions as bullets.
For silence into screams,
screams into deaf ears,
rainbows to blind eyes.
For all destruction and disappointment in the name of love.
For the desperate search of reasons,
For all effortless departures, with light feet of lighter weights.
For a reality, seen from a broken kaleidoscope,
lived in duality of reeking paradox.
For my gold into dust,
dust in the wind.
Whether you were a business major or not, you’re probably familiar with the concept of risk and return. It’s a simple notion actually, ‘the higher the risk, the greater the return and vice versa.’ The reason why this particular subject is of matter to me is because this trade-off is something we all need to practice, much often than we do. Which brings us to the parlous subject of courage. Courage, is key. We need courage to achieve, to conquer, to acquire, to venture and sometimes, it comes to needing it to be fully alive.
Nothing is more horrendous than thinking ‘what would have happened if I did/said that?’ That’s exactly why courage is required to take the risk. To do what you’re afraid of doing. To say what you wanted to say. To delve into the precarious unknown. Little do we know, that word we hid inside, could have changed everything. That one thing we abstained from doing, could have been a game-changer. Now, is it worth that one moment of courage? YES.
Here I am, at 3am in the morning, telling you to take the risk. Dive blindly. Indulge passionately. And most importantly, liberate your mind from all constraints.
I wonder how his breath would feel on my neck, how his lips would feel on my collar bone. And then I wonder, what if heaven lies in his fingertips? What if he ran them through my hair and it would be something I cannot possibly recover from? What if his lips brushed against mine and numbed all my senses?
But I can’t even look into his eyes long enough to let him know how desperate I am for him to put my thoughts into rest.
I want to tell you how it feels like being with you. It feels like an eruption of love, lust and intellect. You provoke all my primal instincts and I’m madly in love with way you make my senses dance around you.
I lay at night, staring at the naked sky, full of scintillating stars. Stars that reminded me of us… How every look from you illuminates my heart from within, how every touch screams out endearment.
Oh dear God why did you send him to me? Whenever I’m with him, I think of nothing else but him, my mind goes entirely void. Everything else is a blur except him, his face and his body. The way he looks at me, that very exact moment his eyes meet mine, I feel like I’m at the pinnacle of my femininity. He looks at me as if I’m Eve herself. An immense look of confidence, confident he is that my heart is retained by him, that he is the home of my psyche.
I crave for nothing more than your presence right now, for your essence, for your whispers of intimacy..
So often we find ourselves trying to convince each other that love is the strongest force of all. That the existence of love, itself, would overpower anything else, On the contrary, the truth is, love is by far, the most fragile insubstantial force of life. The actuality of love itself is not impregnable. It acquires every attribute of strength from the two people it is shared between. It is merely the word that most people use to interpret the resilience of the two combined;
their willingness to withstand anything side by side, relentlessly;
their ability to be each other’s ground to hold, shoulder to lean on;
being each other’s clarity when all things blur; Each other’s home, personified;
their persistence to contain each other’s darkness and reflect each other’s light;
their determination to draw and carve their own path by themselves;
And simply being each other’s truth in a world of lies.
I think of you when people talk about love. When they describe how pain and beauty collide; when they wonder how something, so mad, be so clear. I think of how you made a thousand suns burn inside me and shortly after, a thousand oceans drowning me in. And I’d end up thinking that I never had any say in what love did to me, and whether I liked it or not, the pain had to come along with something so powerful and overwhelming.
I want to be a woman that knows fear when she sees it and would still choose to conquer it.
A woman with the audacity of a compulsive gambler and a heart of a lion.
One that does not wear an armour in the face of unpredictability, but rather, sways her sword.
To be entraped, to be entagled in a place you cannot escape. A place that intercepts diversions and obsecures senses. I may never come across a place with more contradiction and antithesis. Although it is a place of imprisonment, it also the home of freedom; its very own inception. Every part of me is tied to it, not with my own will, but my body’s. Because in it, I find
deliverance, liberation and utter clarity.
This place is a being, a man. A multitude of passion, love, virility, affection and lust. He is a prison I never want to be freed from..